"THE BIG CUBE"

"THE BIG CUBE"-1969

I used to think Lana Turner was a superior blond actress with the beauty of a Marilyn Monroe and the talent of an Elizabeth Taylor. But until I finally saw "The postman always ring twice" I had on idea that Lana Turner only best fitted as a B-rated actress of a Jane Mansfield.

So when I tuned in to "The Big Cube" I know I am in for a moldy treat. The movie opens with the scene as Adriana Roman (Lana Turner) announce she will retire from years of being a stage Diva to marry an old millionaire; then psychedelic color and a Herb Alpert-like go-go version of "Lean on me" comes on as the opening titles! You know you are in for a trippy time!

You see Adriana's step daughter Lisa, is mixed up with a bad crowd; a drug dealing boy friend Johnny (George Chakiris) and a nymphomaniac best friend. So when Adriana moves into the big house as her step mother, Lisa was not happy.

One night Adriana and her husband come home late from a respectable evening of dinner and the theater, they stumble upon Lisa holding a orgy in their living room. Angrily daddy throws out all of Lisa's friend and forbid her ever see Johnny her boy friend again.

Too bad for Adriana, because soon after that, her husband drops dead. It's up to Adriana to discipline the wild Lisa, she prevents Johnny from marrying Lisa and withhold every dime of Lisa's inheritance until she cleans up her act.

Of course Lisa will not do that, not only she won't comply, she teams up with her boyfriend to prove Adriana is a junkie and unfit to be Lisa's guardian... that's when the fun begins!



There are lots of silly sex scenes and bad drug over dose performances from Turner. The drug effects sequences look like a health film from high school. Johnny played by a 30 something George Chakiris looks like a combination of George Hamilton and John Travolta. He looked so familiar to me, I used to get him mixed up with Farley Granger, then I remember he was placed so prominently in a dance sequence with Rosemary Clooney in "White Christmas".



By now you know I enjoy middle age ladies run screaming frantically for no reason in movies and this one satisfy that thirst very well. Also I enjoy the taglines selling this flick, lines like "Poor daddy. Bibi was just shedding her inhibitions. So he threw the gang out. He never should have done it. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never!"