FEMALE ON THE BEACH

FEMALE ON THE BEACH-

Eeek! What can I say about this movie? Totally creepy, anyone that would consider Joan Crawford as a "Pretty Girl" has problems, and that's what the guys in this movie keep saying...Jeff Chandler plays Drummand Hall or all his friends call him "Drummy". Drummy is a gigolo owned by Queenie and Osbert Sorenson a couple of old con artists living on the beach. Using Drummy's flesh to lure rich lonely widows to their trap, inviting them to parties and play poker with a set of marked playing cards.

This movie starts out with Eloise Crandall (Judith Evelyn) taking a swan dive off a whiskey bottle to her death from the balcony of her beach house. Afterwards the new owner Lynn Markham (Crawford) moves in. Acting as cold hearted to everyone as possible, Markham say things like: " I want to be left alone, it's something I've been craving for".

So when young Drummand Hall shakes his booty to attract this widow he's left out in the cold with remarks like: "I have a long list of dislikes...and it's getting longer" or "I wouldn't have you if you come with diamonds hung upside down!"

Charles Drake plays the boring Lieutenant Galley who is also in love with Joan. He calls himself a Beach Cop, "I walk around getting sand in my shoes and ask a lot rich people questions..."
He'll do anything to protect the beautiful widow from falling in love with this swindler, because he wants her to himself...Galley can sneak into the beach house whenever he wants and spit out sarcastic comments to Crawford like: "Give my regards to Drummy...He's real tall isn't he?"

This movie has some really nice and corny lounge music in the background and the beach house has the funniest doorbell you'll ever hear. But as usual Joan wins the prize as this tough broad Lynn Markham, no con man will steal her money or her heart.

"How you like your coffee?" he asks.

"ALONE!" She says...


But in the end Drummy gets his woman, after she splashes wine to his white tux and slaps him in the face. He chases her down the beach, rips off her dress, rapes her and the next thing you know she's in love!